Work. Run. Breathe. Sleep. Repeat.
August 18, 2016
Deep breath. Whoo. Life is really good right now, but also very busy and exhausting. It's been crazy to see how God is working and literally throwing opportunities in my lap. It thrills me, but man I'm worn out. I'm working mornings and nights. And the day time is time to train, eat, clean, cook, take care of Lola and make sure we have food in our house. In Miami grocery shopping is literally my least favorite thing to do-well at least get to the store and get home. I HATE TRAFFIC and I because I want to save money and buy quality ingredients I can never just go to one store. It really is exhausting. Rusty is working during the days, so our only chance to get some quality time is the weekend. Evenings and mornings don't really exist for us at the moment. Which is okay, but hard. Rusty is really feeling the impact since he's the one at home in the evenings. He's gotten a taste of my world these last 12 months.
That's just to give you a taste that life is a little hectic.
It's amazing though, I've started interning at this gym and I'm having a blast. On top of that, I have gained 5 NEW CLIENTS since we have been back from Arkansas! BOOYA! That is crazy guys. We also, bought a sweet puppy which is so fun, but like everyone says it's still a big responsibility. God has been blessing us. :) We've been connecting with our neighbors like crazy too! AH! So cool.
It's hard though. I love meeting with my clients and going to the gym and talking with so many awesome people. It doesn't really feel like work. But to be honest, as my business grows and as I am filling my days, I really have to stay grounded in Christ. I like to be busy and have things to do. It's fun and let's be honest, I'm not too good at sitting. But this last year I've learned a lot about rest and margin. Most of my life, especially college and beyond, I have had little margin and pushed myself to it's breaking point. I don't want to do that again. However, it feels awesome to be going again and have a higher threshold. I'm energized from my jobs, but I am exhausted when I'm home during the day. Starting at 5 am and going to 11 pm each night is hard. On top of that I'm training for that marathon and that will wear you out. Ah! It's all so amazing. However, I have to ground myself. My focus needs to be on my purpose. That purpose is God's purpose-that we (humans) will come to know Him and experience and share his love and grace. My business opportunities, my job titles, my income, my earthly success are not the end goals. Can God use those? Yes, of course. But my focus has to remain the same. And when you get busy with life, it is very easy to forget that. You know it's true? Don't lie and say well I'm a super human and don't have limits; therefore, I'm exempt from Satan's lie that busyness won't distract me. You're not God and you're not invincible. And people, your FAMILY is important. Don't go using the Jesus card to get you off the hook of spending quality time with your family. If we as believers cannot be the example of what a Christ-centered family is to look like, then no one will know or understand. Marriage is the most intimate relationship in the Bible outside of Christ and there is a reason God relates it to Him and the church. So if I say something that sounds lazy because I want to prioritize time with my husband, well I just don't care what you think. And I want to be counter cultural and say my family is more important than my job or the money I make-if that's not being a good steward, than I don't know what is.
All of this may seem all over the map. Here's the deal. I am having to fight for rest and health in this season, not just physical and emotional, but spiritually and with my husband. Some days I have to tell myself taking a nap is more important than going for a run. Sometimes I have to remind myself going for a run is better for me than working on business. Other times I am reminded that going to a coffee shop and spending some quality time with the Lord is by far better than anything I can be doing at the moment. And others, I have to tell myself it's okay to say "no", so I don't run myself into the ground. Through this season I have really seen God show up. I don't know how, but we have been connecting with our neighbors so much recently. It's taken us over a year, but we just had our first apartment party! It was a blast and such a great way to get to know people. On top of that I've been starting with all these new clients and it's awesome how so many conversations about Jesus come up, with both believers and those who are not. Then just the other week I was able to sit down with a guy at the gym and have a 20 minute conversation about Christ and the church-I think he's coming this week! I seriously feel like this stuff has just landed in my lap. For the first time, I feel like living for Christ is so much a part of me, that it's just in my nature. Yes do I have to be intentional, but I don't have to feel all this pressure. I just living fully as a daughter of God and feel the freedom He gives to do that. For most of my life I put this insane amount of pressure on myself to be this perfect "Christian girl". The weight was all on my shoulders. Through that everything I did became about ME. It wasn't about living for God, is was living to prove myself to God. That's not how He intends it. He walks with us through life and if we truly trust in his power and presence, He is going to guide us. Yes, we'll fall and mess up, but let me tell you He is still sovereign and will work everything out.
So there are decisions to be made, some will be hard, but pray that we both live by the Spirit. I want to fight for the priorities God has laid on my heart and I want to be faithful. What's comforting is I know God can use me no matter what I'm doing or where my attention falls as long as my heart is in line with his. Pray for Rusty too. Pray for our marriage. He loves people and he has shown he loves me, so time alone for him is hard. We are so thankful for the love we have been shown and how faithful God has been. We pray you lean on him and trust in the Only One who can save you.