Fight For It.
August 26, 2016
Rusty and I have had one heck of a year. It's crazy thinking we've already been in Miami over a year and all the things that we've been through. I feel like we've walked in the deepest valleys and now have had some pretty awesome mountain tops. We've hit rock bottom and now are experiencing new heights. I felt more confidence than I have in years, maybe more than ever, but it's not the same as it's been. This time it's different. I feel just really at peace, this is not necessarily confidence in myself, but just confidence in life and that God is in control. He is who he says he is and I don't have to worry.
I still get stressed and worry, but man has it changed.
I used to dwell so much on my responsibilities and my capabilities. I feel like I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. It was awful and so STRESSFUL. Now it's just living, one day at a time. Obviously, I have responsibilities, but I've realized that I don't have to spend all my time stressing about them, but just taking them one step at a time. Even more importantly, I've learned to take rest. I used to think going 24/7 was just what I was supposed to do to be a good Christian. If I wasn't exhausted, then I wasn't doing enough. I'm so glad I'm working through that. It feels so good to rest. Now, I'm just learning it takes just as much intentionality as serving does. But man is it so amazing to see how much more I have to give when I feel good and rested. Now the last couple of months have been insane and getting a full night sleep has been hard. It has meant a lot of naps, but for once I'm not feeling guilty for taking them. I mean lets be honest, when I'm getting up at 5am and going to bed at 12am, I think it's okay to take a nap-in fact most days it's probably needed. And I knew that this schedule was only for a time-an end was in sight. That brings me to my next point.
Last post I talked all about how crazy life is. We'll it's still crazy, but God is totally answering prayers. It has been so hard on Rusty with me working 4-5 nights a week and working every morning. We straight up just kept missing each other. Saturdays and Sundays have been about our only time together and Sundays we have church. Hear me out, we're both quality time people, so when we only see each other 10-20 minutes in passing, it just doesn't count. It has made me really appreciate time with Rusty, but the lack of time with another human has been really hard for Rusty's extroverted self. It has drained him some.
Remember how I asked for you all to pray for the decisions ahead. Well, God totally answered that! It's going to be a couple of weeks, but then I start part-time at Iron Tribe as a co-coach and only work 2 nights a week as well as one morning!! YES!!! It's the best of both worlds. I get continue doing what I love (both my personal training and Iron Tribe), plus I get some evenings back with Rusty. AHH! That warms my heart. I didn't even come up with this schedule, it was presented to me. If that's not a God moment, I don't know what is. Guys, God is SOOO FAITHFUL! He knows our hearts so well. He knows when we need a hard season, when we need some grooming, and he knows where we can best be used. I feel like this last year as hard as it has been has prepared me to embrace the woman God has created through me-he's placed me in places and with people so not that I shine, but where he can shine the most. It's this weird, crazy, supernatural thing that when we really do embrace ourselves as God intended, we can be the best us. It this "crazy" idea that he made me to be me for a reason, and that reason is much greater than me. I have never been in a season where I don't get anxious over every little thing. I actually enjoy doing life, I feel very filled. I feel very blessed.
Let me tell you. God deserves the credit, but man he has placed some pretty amazing people in my life to get me to this point. I would not be where I am today without Rusty's unconditional love and support. He has always encouraged me to pursue my dreams and not to settle. He's grabbed my hand and walked right along with me, even when it's hard for him. And our families have pushed us to pursue God above all else. I have to say, our parents have shown us love in such a phenomenal way-we would not be where we are without them. Shout out to our siblings too, we have great sisters that always love on us. And then to all of you. All of you who have walked along side of us. You have prayed for us, you have mentored us, you have pushed us, encouraged us, loved us, hugged us, supported us, provided for us financially and so much more. We would not be here without people like you. When the body wraps their arms around you, I truly believe God is there and Satan can not destroy us. We have seen God work in ways we never even thought of. It may seem small to some, but man has it seemed incredible to us.
It really reminds me of James 1:2-5
"Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
It's so true, that trial and perseverance pays off. I know God is not through with all of that, but I can tell you from experience-as hard as it was-I am so glad Rusty and I persevered. Man, did I want to run and not face what was coming to us, but I have learned and received so much from the Lord through that experience. It makes me appreciate all of the blessings so much more as well. May be I just see them more clearly now, but there are a lot of things to be thankful for. I pray you see those today. I also pray that if you are in a season of trial and perseverance, you will fight and cling to Christ. It is so worth it. Remember it may be a long long season, but if you are in a relationship with God it will end and we will have a glorious, beautiful, perfect eternity with Him.
Like I tell my athletes.
"Fight for it!"
The good things are the ones worth fighting for.
Love and smiles.