the sweetness of grace
the sweetness of grace
February 1, 2016
It has been some time since I have attempted to write something on this blog. For the past couple of months I have thought about it and yet no time felt right. It sounds strange, but this season has been such a time of pruning and words have been challenging. But today His grace flooded my heart in a way it has not in many months. It took watching a video of one of my dearest friend's wedding. The beautiful story she and her husband share of the sweetness and sufficency of God's grace shines radiantly. It was a humble reminder of how God has used my husband, my best friend, to express his undescribable grace. It is true sweetness.
Rusty and I probably experienced the roughest season of our lives in our first 5 months of marriage. For years I have struggled with anxiety and depression and our first 5 months were by far the hardest I have ever experienced. Details are not important, but what is so truly defining and beautiful is how gracious our God is. It's crazy now to see the blessings and it's so humbling and overwhelming. I'm sitting here so overwhelmed by grace and for the first time in months I'm crying tears of humility and grace and thankfulness. God has been so good. He brought us through so much: months of panic attacks, hours of crying, numerous arguments, what seemed a lifetime of heart ache and frustration, and so much strain on our marriage. What's so humbling and overwhelming is how the Lord blessed me with a man that never hesitated to walk by my side. A man who showed me grace in ways I can never explain. How Rusty bore such a burden to see his wife wrestle with life and death, yet never left my side. He held my hand when I wanted to run. He showed my love when I felt so unloveable. He told me I'm worthy when I couldn't see God's worth. He came after me when I was lost. He listened when my world was shaking. He held me when I couldn't stand.
God used this man to show me the depths of HIs unconditional grace. I am eternally grateful.
Our lives were turned upside down. I was so angry with God and my heart hurt so deeply. I couldn't grasp His grace or accept it. How we have learned so much. It took a trip to the ER for me to realize how much I needed that grace and how important receiving help is. The Body stepped in and so did medical help.
Looking back it's crazy to believe we were in the midst of our greatest storm yet. God has been so abundantly gracious and blessed us. I am in a good place and I honestly have struggled to look back and reflect about how bad things were, but as I do it makes me realize the sweetness of grace. God has been so faithful, he has been so good, through the good and the bad. He hasn't changed and it's amazing to see the grace he gives us. I am beyond thankful. I am humbled and overwhelmed.
LORD, THANK YOU. Thank you for the storm, thank you for the blessings, thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you so much for Rusty. Thank you for sweetness of your grace.
Thank you all for your prayers. Life is going so well and we truly believe in the power of prayer. So thank you for supporting us and praying for us. God uses the Body in so many ways. Rusty is excelling in leading Miami Church in worship and so much more and I am starting my own personal training business. Life is good. But God is better.
I want to say a special thank you to Rusty. He was so faithful to the Lord during this season and loved me so well. I would not be here today without him. The Lord had a divine plan for him in my life and I am so grateful he listened to the Lord. I am so thankful for the sacrifices he made for me and our marriage. I am so grateful for his faithfulness. I am so glad he chose to marry me. Rusty, I LOVE YOU. I can't tell you how much. Thank you, Lord, for this man. Thanks for choosing to use him.